I love you just fine

This is what 8 1/2 years of marriage and two small children gets you.

What knowing one another for more than half of your life amounts to.

The reality of marriage is often very different from the ideal marriage we all think we see on TV.

I love you just fine.  This is a direct quote from my loving husband :)

We've had a rough week.  The kids (cough *Hannah* cough) have been especially tricky and our schedules are crazy.  We're tired.  I get it.

Today, sort of being silly, I was giving Brad a hug and telling him I love him.  He seemed disinterested - mostly a by-product of our current place in life, but still.  I was wanting more attention.  Maybe for him to even come up to me and say it first.  Does that even happen any more, I wondered.  I'm sure it does, but I couldn't remember when the last time was...

I proceeded to tell him that I love him more, but that's it's okay.  I told him a story I once heard about a much older couple that had been married something like 60+ years, and they had said the secret to a long, happy marriage is to never fall out of love with one another at the same time.  There's an ebb and flow to marriage, and I get it.  There are days I could strangle Brad for the way he puts the dishes in the dishwasher (SO MUCH WASTED SPACE!), but with that said, I'm sure there are things that I do that drive Brad crazy.  For one, he hates how I narrate my life aloud, but I can't help it.  I announce my plans all of the time.  It helps me stay focused and on task.

I digress.  Anyway, I told him that it's okay, and that I just love him more right now.

And Brad said, "I love you just fine."

Oh, I feel so much better.  Thank you.  We better be careful - my heart might just stop with all that flattery.

Silent Sunday

{best - husband - ever: do you see those bookshelves?}

Feed Crazy

Apparently Brad has a to-do list on his phone titled "Feed Crazy."  I've mentioned that Brad and I each have our own quirks, but I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned that he thinks mine make me crazy.  He does.

I think my craziness makes our lives easier and more organized.

He thinks I create routines and structures for myself that we could live the rest of our lives without.

We agree to disagree.

{This is what I got Brad for our engagement anniversary - his favorite children's book with a personal note inside and that plaque about how, without me, his life would be a mess.}

Recently Brad's decided it would be fun to encourage our little lovelies to sometimes randomly do the things that make me crazy, such as:

• wet willies
• messing up our light switches
• putting stickers everywhere, including the stair railing, the back door, and the coffee table

You get the idea.

I found out about this list because I noticed him watching me and then quickly rushing to his phone to jot things down.  These moments seemed to immediately follow my moments of frustration or craziness, perhaps after some daily routine he didn't quite realize I had.

I asked, and he told me about the Feed Crazy list.  Lovely.

Now it seems that Jack's number one goal in life is to give me a wet willy.  Gross.

And he's especially focused because someone gives Jack a quarter (only one/day) every time he gets me by surprise.

A Week's Worth of Thanks - Day 2

Tonight I'm thankful for my husband, who for the last two nights, has allowed me to fall asleep with our little man before 9:30.  I'm still suffering from sheer exhaustion and from having to go back to work, and when I tucked Baby Jack into bed, not only did he fall asleep, but so did I.  Dead asleep.  Like, Brad's had to wake me up and make me switch beds asleep.

And not only that, but Brad's also cleaned up the entire house while I've slept the early evening away.  I wake up with our baby girl at about 4:30 every morning, and the past two mornings I've found the toys put away, the dishes washed, laundry in the machine, and lights out.

Simply amazing.

Happy Anniversary, Baby!

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.

I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can't help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.

I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.

~Roy Croft

*****

Brad,

Six years ago today, we were married in the most beautiful ceremony that I'd ever seen.  I got to marry my best friend, and it was then that all my dreams (past, present, and future) came true.  I am so lucky to be your wife and to be living this wonderful life we are building together with these two beautiful children we have since brought into this world.  I couldn't ask for more...

I love you so much.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Today was a perfect Valentine's Day, aside from the fact that it's Monday and we had to work.  After work Jack and I played, got our Valentines ready for Daddy, and then I made him one of his favorite dinners - buttered noodles:)  Daddy came home with beautiful, red roses from the both of them and a funny joke.  The first card he gave me was completely in Spanish and it came with a warning: "Keep in mind there were kind of slim pickings."  But that was just to get me all worked up, so in fact, I got two beautiful cards from my hubby.  

After we put Jack to bed, I hustled around to prepare my surprise for Brad.  I had ordered a pizza and salad dinner from one of our favorite take-out places.  I tidied up the family room, we changed into our jammies, we lit the fireplace and some candles, and had a lovely candle-lit dinner on the floor of the family room while watching one of our favorite TV shows.  It was perfect - such a nice, quiet, relaxing way to spend Valentine's Day.

And doesn't this card just melt a mama's heart?!  When I picked Jack up at my parents' house yesterday, he announced that he "made a car for you, Mama."  Then he brought it to me, and I realized he made me a card.  The cutest part was when he modeled for me just exactly how his little hands came to be on the paper, placing his little paws over the traced areas and explaining how he "put my hands here and here...just like that.  Really."  He was so pleased with himself.  And so was I.

(Thank you, Grammy for helping my little man make me such a wonderful surprise.  I will cherish those little handprints always!)

Happy Valentine's Day to you and your loved ones!

JW Tumbles and Date Night

Yesterday was a fun day.  In the morning, I took Jack to JW Tumbles class and Grandpa joined us to see what it was all about.  Jack seemed to be in a little bit of a funk, but he had fun learning how to slide down the fire pole.  Maybe he'll be a firefighter when he grows up.

He's such an adventurous little boy...I love it!

Thank you Grandpa for joining us at tumbles class...it meant a lot to Jack to have you there!

*****

Then last night, Brad and I had a date night and my parents kept Jack for an overnight sleepover.  It was only the second time that he spent the night away from both of us at the same time, and he did so well:)  Grammy and Grampy bought Jack a little art table that he loved very much, and they colored, made Valentines, did puzzles, played, and watched movies.  Jack got to have a special IHOP pancake with a fruit face for dinner, and he spent the night snuggled up next to Grammy and Grampy and slept until 8:30.  How come when he's with us he won't eat food with toppings and he's up at 6 am?!  What's that secret?

While Jack had tons of fun at his sleepover, Brad and I went out to a great seafood restaurant where Brad could eat all of the oysters on a half-shell and sushi his little heart desired.  He was in heaven, and it was the perfect Valentine's gift for him:)  Then we went to Carter's and had a shopping hunt.  We had to each buy one thing for Jack and one thing for the baby based on what our gut is telling us we're having.  He bought for a boy - I bought for a girl.  We shall see...  We had planned to go to a movie, but when we got there the timings didn't work out quite right, so we headed home, talked about how we don't think we could ever go on vacation without Jack since we missed him so much, and watched a movie at home.  It was a perfect date!

Thank you Grammy and Grampy for keeping Jack so that we could spend some time together to celebrate Valentine's Day!  We're so lucky to have so many family members so close by...

Five Years

Five years ago today, I married my best friend under a canopy of trees and right before a thunderstorm. We celebrated the beginning of our lives together with our family and friends and held each other close throughout the evening. We danced to our song, walked through a showering of bubbles, and drove off into the night. We spent our first night together as a married couple in our very first apartment. What a perfect day!

"In Your Eyes"

by Peter Gabriel

love I get so lost, sometimes

days pass and this emptiness fills my heart

when I want to run away

I drive off in my car

but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are

all my instincts, they return

and the grand facade, so soon will burn

without a noise, without my pride

I reach out from the inside

in your eyes

the light the heat

in your eyes

I am complete

in your eyes

I see the doorway to a thousand churches

in your eyes

the resolution of all the fruitless searches

in your eyes

I see the light and the heat

in your eyes

oh, I want to be that complete

I want to touch the light

the heat I see in your eyes

love, I don't like to see so much pain

so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away

I get so tired of working so hard for our survival

I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

and all my instincts, they return

and the grand facade, so soon will burn

without a noise, without my pride

I reach out from the inside

in your eyes

the light the heat

in your eyes

I am complete

in your eyes

I see the doorway to a thousand churches

in your eyes

the resolution of all the fruitless searches

in your eyes

I see the light and the heat

in your eyes

oh, I want to be that complete

I want to touch the light,

the heat I see in your eyes

in your eyes, in your eyes

in your eyes, in your eyes

in your eyes, in your eyes

My Sweet, Sweet Baby Brad,

Through the good, the bad, and the ugly - you are there for me.  You keep me calm when I am crazy and you make me laugh.  You help me to relax and to take it easy...to not sweat all of the small stuff.  You are more patient with me than you are with anyone else, and I thank you for that.  You make my life better every day.  Together, with Jack, you have made me a mother...my most cherished gift.  I love you more every day, and I know that together, we can get through anything.  I look forward to everything the future holds for us and to growing old with you.  I love being your wife (yes, even on the days you make me crazy)!

I love you,

Erika