{If you're interested, be sure to read about Jack's first day of pre-k.}
Well, it's only taken 13 months and four days, but tonight, while I was cleaning up from dinner, Jack and Hannah were playing together in the family room for over five minutes. I mean, really playing together - not just playing separately but simultaneously in the same vicinity. It was so cute, and I was so excited, but I tried really hard to make sure they didn't notice that I noticed. Because it surely would have stopped. Immediately.
They were playing with Hannah's learning home, and Jack told me that they lived on different sides of the door, but basically, they were chasing each other around, tickling one another, and flopping down on the beanbag chair. And giggling. Oh, the giggling:)
Happy day!
*****
Moments ago, after we tucked Jack into bed, he called for me because he needed "another cuddle". When I left, I told him to have sweet dreams. I called in, "I'm going to dream about Daddy and Hannah and Jack-Jack!"
He thought about it a moment, and then he said...
...
...
...
"I'm going to dream about dinosaurs!"
Of course you are, Baby.
*****
After school today Jack had to go potty. #2 specifically. I tell you this only because it's important for the story. When I mentioned to Jack that pretty soon he was going to have to learn how to wipe his tushy so he'd be ready for kindergarten, he told me he didn't want to wipe his own tushy. I tried to explain that he has to learn so that if he has to go at school, he'll be able to take care of himself - to which he promptly replied, "Well, that's why I wait until I get home because I don't think the teachers will wipe my tushy."
Touche, Son. Touche.
"Jack, I think your teachers would still wipe your tushy at school. Don't they wipe your friends' tushies?"
"They did in the three's room. But I don't think they do in the four's."
I don't often think about the things that add stress to Jack's daily life, but as soon as he said that, I just tried to imagine how unsure of his new classroom he must be...learning the in's and out's of a new room with new teachers and new friends. What if my little man has to go potty at noon, but waits all day because he doesn't know who will help him? Or how to ask someone to help him?
In this regard - I think he's a lot like me. Not specifically about going to the bathroom, mind you, but just about new surroundings and change. I'm trying to make it easier for him than it is for me, but maybe it's genetic. Or in-grained. Either way - it makes me sad.
Pre-kindergarten is turning me into an emotional mess.
*****
I'm learning that the hardest thing about being a mommy isn't the lack of sleep. Or that it's not all about you anymore. It's not about the cost and the schedule and all of the little things that add stress on a daily basis. The hardest thing is that when your little one goes out into the big, scary world - they take your heart with them. Right out there on their sleeve for anyone to see...
And when they are hurt or sad or lonely...your heart is the one that breaks the most. Sure, they are sad. They might cry. But they move on and forget.
But for mommies? They are our babies - they're part of us, no different from our own limbs. And all we want to do is protect them from being hurt, and we can't always do that...
I think about how upset I am about the recess incident from yesterday, and then I wonder how I'll handle things like when Jack may not make the team, or his first girlfriend breaks his heart... I'm hoping by then my mommy-heart is stronger because now...now, I'm just a big, weepy mess.
I think it's time to go to bed:(
It's been a long, hard day...
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Okay, I feel guilty leaving on a sad note, so I'll close with this:
The other day Jack was playing with his Batmobile, and he was telling me that he calls it his bat machine.
So he says, "Mommy, can I tell you something? This is my bat machine. Say it with me.
Bat
Mo
Sheen."
I nearly doubled over laughing, but managed to contain myself so as not to hurt his feelings. I'm proud of his syllable segmentation skills - just not quite sure where he got "mo"!
Clearly, they're doing some echoing with tricky, vocab words during circle time:)
*****
That is all. Good night.
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