Overwhelmed and Such

To say I am overwhelmed with two small children is an understatement.  If you're someone who reads regularly, or at least, as regularly as I post, I apologize for not posting as often as I'd like.  Believe me, it bothers me way more than it bothers you, but some days it just doesn't make the cut.

I've seen blog posts talking about the words that seem to be guiding their author's way into 2012.  Is it wrong that these blogs make me think of words like overwhelmed, surviving, exhausted?  If I'm being totally honest, that's where I'm at.  I'm not sure what the delayed-effect of having two children is all about, but at about 4 1/2 to 5 months, it seems that all hell broke loose, and I haven't been able to regain my footing yet.

My to-do list is longer than I am tall, and I'm paralyzed by the things I seem to have to do before I can do the things on the list.  That might sound a little crazy, and partly it is, because I know I make things harder than they need to be.  I'm a perfectionist.  It's what we do.  But it's often to our own detriment.  For example - I need to go to the grocery store because we're out of meals.  I almost went yesterday.  Brad almost went yesterday.  But in order to go to the store, I had to make a list.  In order to make a shopping list, I had to come up with the menu for the week.  And while I'm creating a menu, I might as well make my menu board cards at the same time and get that up and running.  Yes, a menu board.  I haven't shopped for food this week because I'm trying to figure out the best menu board for our household.

I haven't been able to adequately discipline our adorable (yet seriously sassy) three year old because I haven't figured out the best behavior plan - also on the to-do list.

I haven't been able to consistently expect Jack to help around the house with certain tasks because I haven't yet made the list of those tasks or made the chore chart to go with it.

See what I mean?  Crazy!!!

Not to mention the fact that although it's only been a mere three years, I can't remember for the life of me how I fed Jack solids and bottle-fed him at the same time.  What on earth was that schedule like?  Because I seriously feel like every hour Hannah's awake, I'm feeding her.  And why is she always spitting up?

So - long story short - when I don't blog every day, it's because I simply can't.  I'm lucky if I can get my little lovelies fed, bathed, and in bed.  At which point, I try to do a load of laundry, clean up the kitchen from dinner, organize myself for work the next day {note to self: find mommy blogs of women who also work full-time because reading about women who stay at home is adding to my stress level}, and before I know it, it's 11:46.

******

This should make you laugh - tonight, I found myself saying this at the dinner table while eating with Jack and Rypie:

     "Okay, Baby, we are not going to talk about wieners at the dinner table."

Yes, it came out of my mouth.  And yes, I nearly died of embarrassment.  And yes, we laughed until we cried.

******

For the longest time, Daddy and Jack have talked about how they are each other's best buddy.  They always ask, "Who's Jack's best buddy?" and Daddy turns his thumbs towards his chest and says, "This guy!"

So tonight, while snuggling before bed, Daddy told Jack he was his best buddy in the whole world.  Jack said, "I know."  {He's a confident little bugger.}

Then he asked Jack who his best buddy was...and without missing a beat:

"Ben."

Poor Daddy got a little teary-eyed, put on his brave face for the rest of snuggle time, and then came downstairs and told me all about his broken heart.

Watching your babies grow up is sometimes tortuous on us, isn't it?

******

And just because you've stuck with me all this way, here are some photos I took just-because a couple of Saturdays ago:

{I just love them so, so much!!!}

Silent Sunday

Dreamland

This morning when I went in to wake Jack up, he was oh, so sleepy.  I rubbed on his little back and asked him how he was.  He mumbled, "Good."

I asked him if he slept good as I ran my fingers through his crazy, baby hair.  He mumbled, "Yeah."

And then, he popped right up, looked at me with those big, blue eyes, and said, "I dreamed about lions at the zoo."

It was so stinkin' cute, I couldn't help but giggle.  That was the first time he's ever told me about a dream!  The back story, of course, is that Jack is dying to revisit the zoo, this time with Daddy and Hannah Bear in tow:)  We keep telling him that we'll go when the weather gets warmer, so whenever it's sunny, he'll point out the sunny weather and ask to go to the zoo.  It seems that when you are three, sunny weather equates to warm weather - even when it's freezing outside!

Oh, he makes me laugh!

A Joyful Noise, Indeed

We thought maybe we heard it this weekend, but it seemed more like a string of sounds...

and then yesterday I was pretty sure I heard it, but I wasn't able to catch it on video...

but tonight?

What a happy mama am I!

Deal or No Deal

{While I might be typing this post, it was actually written on a piece of paper by Brad after an encounter with our little man.  I'll get him to guest-blog eventually, I'm sure of it!}

While sitting on our bed watching Batman:

"Jack, when Mommy gets out of the shower, we're going to take a shower early, before dinner."

     "I don't want to take a shower."

"We're going to take a shower."

     "Ok, I'm going to finish watching Batman, and when it's over, I'll get in the shower and wash up with you...deal?"  (and extends his hand to shake on it)

{Daddy was so proud of this little exchange!}

Silent Sunday

Responsibilities

"With great power comes great responsibility."

This is a quote we know all too well in our house.  As you already know (at least, if you've read this blog for more than two days), Jack is obsessed with all things Spiderman.  Hearing him repeat this powerful quote is absolutely adorable:)  But not quite as adorable as watching our little boy handle his growing responsibilities - even if they are only occasional.  

Responsibility #1 - Helping with Hannah Bear by reading to her

One night while Brad was out of town and I was trying to get Hannah ready for bed, I asked Jack to read her some stories while I went to fix her a bottle.  I handed him a couple of board books he used to love when he was a baby and headed downstairs.  As I waited for the water to warm up, I could hear Jack upstairs, reciting his favorite stories, and Miss Hannah?  Quiet as a mouse.  

When I came back upstairs, he'd gotten down even more familiar stories to read to his baby sister.  He told me she asked him to:)

The next morning, on our way to school, he read Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?  I just sat in the driver's seat, listening as he worked out that familiar pattern and would go back to fix his mistakes.  The inflection in his voice as he came to the question was spot on.  The animal labels almost so.  My little teacher heart just couldn't get enough, and the fact that I was so proud of him just made him grin ear to ear.  He very clearly sees himself as a reader - and for that I am thankful and oh, so excited.  Half the battle, right there!

Responsibility #2 - Keeping Mama cozy

While Brad was gone, Jack was super-sad, and I was super-lonely after I (finally) put the kids to bed each night.  So, and I'm aware you may disagree with this, each night when I was ready to go to sleep, I went in to Jack's bedroom, scooped him, his blanket, and Skinny Bear up, and brought them back to bed with me.  Both nights we slept snuggled together, warm as could be.  

When Brad got home, Jack was telling him all about what happened while he was gone, and on the way to swimming, he told Daddy, "I slept in Mama's bed and kept her cozy."  It was then I found out that they'd had a "you're the man of the house while I'm gone" conversation prior to Brad leaving.  So after thinking about it for a few seconds, Jack said, "I was the man of the house so I had to keep Mama cozy."  I just love him so much - and I will be so sad when he's too big to sleep next to me and keep me warm:(

Responsibility #3 - Reminding Mama to give him his medicine (this responsibility just developed as I was typing this blog post!)

After Daddy snuggles Jack before bedtime, I go in to say good night one last time.  It was then Jack reminded me that we didn't do his inhaler.  We did, in fact, do his inhaler, so I reminded him and then gave him a kiss and started to leave.  

"But Mama, we didn't take my other medicine.  You know?  The one that I drink like a bottle."  Indeed, we did forget.  

I swear he has the best memory of anyone in our household.  Thank goodness!

Neigh is for Horses

This morning, Hannah started to get a little fussy because she was ready for her morning bottle.  I picked her up from her spot in the family room and brought her into the kitchen with me while I made her bottle. It seems to calm her knowing that the preparation has begun to take place:)

Jack was not thrilled that I had taken Hannah from the family room, where he had happily been playing next to her.  This is the conversation that followed:

Jack: Hey, I was playing with her!

Me: Hay is for horses.

Jack: (Thinks for a few seconds...)  Neigh is for horses (implying silly Mama).

Me: (Think for a few seconds...) Yes, horses say neigh, but they eat hay.

Jack:  Hay is yellow.  But sometimes we say hey, like, "Hey, I was playing with her!"

Yes, I suppose sometimes we do, Little Man.  Point for you.

Thankful Thursday

I realize that it's actually Friday, and I was going to blog this last night, but unfortunately even if I'd held my eyelids open with toothpicks, I still would've fallen asleep.  Yes, I was that tired.  Why do you ask?  Well, Brad traveled for work this week and I had our little lovelies for (ohmygoodness, only) two nights, but it felt like a lot longer.  Anyway, it was the first time in a long time that he traveled, the first time since Jack's been able to comprehend the fact that he's gone, and the first time since Miss Hannah joined our lives.  Sheer craziness, I tell you.

So today, I actually have a lot to be thankful for:

* I am thankful for my husband.  I take for granted all that he does around here, and it becomes very obvious what all that is when he's not here.  We were so excited to see his face when he came home last night before swimming.  Oh, so excited:)

* I am thankful for my in-laws.  Not only do they adoringly watch our baby girl every day when I go to work (just like they did with Baby Jack), but this week, they warmly welcomed Jack and Hannah at 6:30 in the morning (such sleepy, hungry, need a new diaper, well one of them, children) when I had to train teachers on a day when Brad was out of town and couldn't help out with drop off.  I love you both, and I am so glad that our babies get to spend so much time with you.  I know it is hard to watch a baby all day, every day, and I just want you to know how much I really do appreciate all of your help.  I never have to worry about our little lovelies when I drop them off.  It is a priceless gift each and every day.

* I am thankful for my mom.  Each Wednesday afternoon she picks Jack-Jack up from school so that this Momma can have some one-on-one time with my baby girl and a much more relaxing evening than I would have had otherwise.  I actually get some stuff done on Wednesday evenings, and it's really rather nice.  This past Wednesday, I treated myself to a massage, in fact, because she also agreed to watch Hannah for a bit.  I am very lucky to have so much extra help and family that love my babies as much as I do living so close to us.  Not everyone is so lucky, and I get it.  I love you - thank you for giving up one of your relaxing weeknights each week to play with Jack!  I know he's busy-busy after school, and sometimes rather clingy, but he loves going to Grammy's to play:)

* I am thankful for writing workshop training sessions.  I love writing workshop.  Love it.  Capital L.  If I could go back to the primary classroom and only teach writing, or really the whole language arts block, I'd do it.  Writing is just my favorite, and I love that training day with teachers.  I love browsing through children's books I've heard about through various conferences with teachers and showing them how to look at all those beautiful pages through the eyes of a writer.  I just find it to be a very powerful day, and I'm glad I get to be a part of writing workshop in classrooms even though I don't have my own classroom anymore.

* I am thankful for Kimmee.  Last night, as I sat at my kitchen table and finished up dinner with Channing and Brad (Jack and Hannah had long since finished), I watched as Kimmee cleaned our kitchen and unloaded and loaded our dishwasher.  I know that sounds horrible, but it really was amazing.  I don't always love to ask for help or let people help all the time, but the truth is I always need help.  So as weird as it was to sit there while my best friend straightened up after a play date and dinner at our house, I just took a deep breath, relinquished control, and allowed it.  And it was nice.  It wasn't until Kimmee and Channing left and we were rushing to swimming at 7:15 that I realized what a huge sacrifice it was for Kimmee to stay and help us get ready for swimming.  Kimmee and Channing are usually heading upstairs at 6:45 to get ready for a bath and bedtime.  And I know this because Kimmee is very scheduled at home and every night runs exactly the same.  She was 1/2 an hour behind schedule and Channing had to be bathed and in bed in 45 minutes.  I know that Channing was still in bed by 8 because that's how Kimmee is.  She's wonder-woman.  I don't know how she does it.  My kids haven't bathed in days (does the pool count?) because I couldn't figure out how to do that without Brad.  But somehow Kimmee managed to bathe Channing and get him to bed on time even though she gave up her schedule a bit to help a friend in need.  Which I'm sure wasn't easy, and I didn't even see her glance at a clock.  Not once.  So thank you - I love you.  I know how you are with your schedule, and I really did appreciate all of your help:)

I am a lucky girl.  And I know it.

Wordless Wednesday

Somebody's sleepy...my, how I love Instagram!

Ringing in the New Year

I promised to write about our new year, although I have to be honest and say that it wasn't all that spectacular.  Unfortunately, much like last year, I was sick for New Year's.  I felt okay on New Year's Eve, but I'd had a very minor sore throat on and off for a week or two prior, and somewhere in the middle of the night, I developed a tickle in the back of my throat and a cough that just wouldn't go away.  The cough was making it difficult for me to sleep, and I NEVER have trouble sleeping!  My very worried husband made me go to Urgent Care on New Year's Day, and sure enough, I tested positive for strep throat.  Yuck.  I got a prescription for antibiotics and came home to relax...tricky to do with two little ones, but Hubby tried to help.  I took a good nap, so that's always nice.

We decided that since I wasn't feeling that bad and I was taking medication that we'd venture out for a family dinner to ring in the new year.  Very bad idea.  Poor Jack had a meltdown over a straw wrapper and had to be "escorted" from the restaurant by Daddy for a brief time.  Simultaneously, Miss Hannah woke up from a nap and wanted to eat immediately.  I barely got to finish my meal, and we jetted out of there like crazy wondering when on earth we'd be able to enjoy a nice dinner out again.  We certainly won't be visiting another restaurant with the kiddos here in the near future.  That was a decision we both agreed to on our way home from that fateful evening.

Maybe one of my resolutions will be to have date night once a month without our kids?

Anyway, I went back to work on Tuesday with everyone else because the medicine definitely took care of my cough and tried to get back into our routine, but it was painful.  I was just lagging and exhausted.

Then I went to pick Jack up Thursday after school to find out from his teacher that she thought he had hand, foot, and mouth disease.  We went straight to the doctor and while we were relieved to find out he didn't have hand, foot, and mouth, we did determine that poor Jack had strep as well.  More medicine and a stay-at-home-with-Mommy day on Friday made it even trickier to get back into our regular routine.

This week has honestly felt like the closest we've been to a normal routine in a long time, and I'm finally playing catch up in what seems like all aspects of my life.  After having Miss Hannah and adjusting to life with not one, but two babies, we jetted off to North Carolina for my sister's wedding, and upon our return were knocked sideways by returning to work, the fall birthdays (Grammy, Grampy, Aunt Ryan, and Me), and then by the Christmas holiday.  I'm looking forward to this little reprieve before Brad's birthday.

So, all in all, while our New Year's itself wasn't spectacular, I have nothing but high hopes for this year as we make more memories as a family.

**Be sure to check out my updated collages for 2011.  I learned a new trick via Photobucket.com!

Daddy's Girl

She is truly her father's daughter!

{Don't mind that orange stain around her neck.  What can we say?  This little one loves carrots, and we're still learning how to eat from a spoon - bib and all!}

What Makes Jack Happy

*I promise to go back and blog about our New Year.  Also, I'm working on some fancier collages to improve my very last post from 2011.  But this is just too cute not to share.*

So tonight before bed, Jack chose a book that we read a lot when he was younger, but it continues to be one of his favorites.  It's called What Makes Elmo Happy?  It's cute - it's a little foamy, board book, and it's pretty short.

Anyway, before I read it to him, I read him the title, and then I asked, "What makes you happy?"

And as adorably as possible, he thought about it for a few seconds, and then he told us:

"When Channing comes to my house to play..." {play-date scheduled for tomorrow in fact}

"when Ben comes to my house to play..." {first play-date scheduling in the works}

"my Spiderman pajamas...these ones..." {you know, the ones he's always wearing in all of his pictures?}

"laying under the blankets and reading books..." {which we were doing right that very minute}

Oh, how I love him.  He's just the cutest ever!