Overwhelmed and Such

To say I am overwhelmed with two small children is an understatement.  If you're someone who reads regularly, or at least, as regularly as I post, I apologize for not posting as often as I'd like.  Believe me, it bothers me way more than it bothers you, but some days it just doesn't make the cut.

I've seen blog posts talking about the words that seem to be guiding their author's way into 2012.  Is it wrong that these blogs make me think of words like overwhelmed, surviving, exhausted?  If I'm being totally honest, that's where I'm at.  I'm not sure what the delayed-effect of having two children is all about, but at about 4 1/2 to 5 months, it seems that all hell broke loose, and I haven't been able to regain my footing yet.

My to-do list is longer than I am tall, and I'm paralyzed by the things I seem to have to do before I can do the things on the list.  That might sound a little crazy, and partly it is, because I know I make things harder than they need to be.  I'm a perfectionist.  It's what we do.  But it's often to our own detriment.  For example - I need to go to the grocery store because we're out of meals.  I almost went yesterday.  Brad almost went yesterday.  But in order to go to the store, I had to make a list.  In order to make a shopping list, I had to come up with the menu for the week.  And while I'm creating a menu, I might as well make my menu board cards at the same time and get that up and running.  Yes, a menu board.  I haven't shopped for food this week because I'm trying to figure out the best menu board for our household.

I haven't been able to adequately discipline our adorable (yet seriously sassy) three year old because I haven't figured out the best behavior plan - also on the to-do list.

I haven't been able to consistently expect Jack to help around the house with certain tasks because I haven't yet made the list of those tasks or made the chore chart to go with it.

See what I mean?  Crazy!!!

Not to mention the fact that although it's only been a mere three years, I can't remember for the life of me how I fed Jack solids and bottle-fed him at the same time.  What on earth was that schedule like?  Because I seriously feel like every hour Hannah's awake, I'm feeding her.  And why is she always spitting up?

So - long story short - when I don't blog every day, it's because I simply can't.  I'm lucky if I can get my little lovelies fed, bathed, and in bed.  At which point, I try to do a load of laundry, clean up the kitchen from dinner, organize myself for work the next day {note to self: find mommy blogs of women who also work full-time because reading about women who stay at home is adding to my stress level}, and before I know it, it's 11:46.

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This should make you laugh - tonight, I found myself saying this at the dinner table while eating with Jack and Rypie:

     "Okay, Baby, we are not going to talk about wieners at the dinner table."

Yes, it came out of my mouth.  And yes, I nearly died of embarrassment.  And yes, we laughed until we cried.

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For the longest time, Daddy and Jack have talked about how they are each other's best buddy.  They always ask, "Who's Jack's best buddy?" and Daddy turns his thumbs towards his chest and says, "This guy!"

So tonight, while snuggling before bed, Daddy told Jack he was his best buddy in the whole world.  Jack said, "I know."  {He's a confident little bugger.}

Then he asked Jack who his best buddy was...and without missing a beat:

"Ben."

Poor Daddy got a little teary-eyed, put on his brave face for the rest of snuggle time, and then came downstairs and told me all about his broken heart.

Watching your babies grow up is sometimes tortuous on us, isn't it?

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And just because you've stuck with me all this way, here are some photos I took just-because a couple of Saturdays ago:

{I just love them so, so much!!!}