Growing Up

{photo courtesy of Marian Lozano}

Today was a hard day for my mommy-heart, but a very big day for my little man.  This morning, when we arrived at daycare, instead of coming with me to drop Hannah off as he usually does, and instead of waving to me from the front door as I drive away to go to work, he whispered into my ear that today he'd like to just go straight to his classroom to play with his friends before going to school.

Without missing a beat, I gave him a big smile and said, "Sure, Honey - of course.  I love you.  Have a good day!"  And off he went.  All smiles and proud.

I turned to go down the hall to Hannah's classroom, and my eyes welled-up with tears.  The other teachers that were in the hallway knew exactly how I was feeling.  They sympathized with me as I tried to be happy and kiss Hannah goodbye without crying my eyes out.  I made it back to my car before I really cried, but the way to work wasn't pretty.

It was too early to call anyone and I know it would have seemed silly to anyone else, but it was a very big deal to me.  I told Brad later this afternoon when I called him after work, and he said he understood why that would make me feel sad, but that he was happy for Jack.  That he's glad that he's becoming independent and braver.

And I am too.  I just wasn't ready.  It caught me off-guard, as I'm sure these things normally do.  

My baby boy is going to be six this spring.  And to me, six means he's no longer a baby.  He's out there, in the real world, going to school and making friends and riding buses, all without me.  And it's only going to be more and more like that as the years go by.  

I'm so glad that he's excited.  That he's enjoying more of his freedom.  And that it happens one little, teeny bit at a time.

{Note: The next day, Jack decided he wanted to come with me and Hannah.  Like I said, baby steps for both of us.}