ungrateful

I'd like to think that I'm a grateful person - that I take time to appreciate the things I have.  That I recognize how lucky I am.  That I say thank you.  Often.

But for some reason - and I have to say I'm embarrassed to write this, and at the same time, I feel guilty about writing this - I sometimes fear that we are raising ungrateful children.  It seems to both Brad and I that lately when we do something nice for the kiddos, they want more.  They don't say thank you for what they have,  they want one step further.  And they melt down when they don't get that extra step.

Prime example - today I took Jack and Hannah to see The Lego Movie.  It was Hannah's first experience at the movie theater, and she just couldn't wait for the movie to begin!  She talked about it all day.  We tried to make it to a late morning show, but they were sold out of all seats except for the front two rows (and that just wasn't happening).  So we bought tickets for a late afternoon show instead, and tried to go about our merry way.  It was a tiny bit tricky for Hannah to understand that we were going to come back, so she was upset initially.  But eventually, I think she caught on that after nap we'd go back.

The movie was adorable, and they both really enjoyed it.  I think Hannah may have liked Frozen more, but Jack had already seen it, and Hannah likes Legos, too.  They were excited about popcorn and chocolate and a fun outing with Mommy.  It was special.

Until the very end.  As they put on their jackets, I collected all of our trash.  On our way out of the theater, I tossed our things into the trash can, as any normal person would.  And Jack immediately burst into loud, splashy tears.  Immediately.

When I was finally able to get out of the crowd and wrangle Hannah back with us, I bent down to figure out what happened.  He was upset that I'd thrown away his fruit snacks.  (Apparently, I missed that there were fruit snacks hidden inside the kids' popcorn bags.)  I initially responded by saying we didn't get fruit snacks, but this only seemed to escalate the crying.  Finally, I understood what he was telling me, and realized I had, indeed, thrown out the fruit snacks.  I tried to explain that he should have said something or held on to his popcorn or told me about the snacks.  That he should've used his words instead of immediately crying.  He simply wanted the fruit snacks.

I felt bad that I'd thrown them away.  We went to the counter, and I explained, but they were not willing to give me said fruit snacks.  $11.00 later, we had more popcorn and fruit snacks in hand, and we were on our way home.

No thank you.  No I'm sorry.  The joy of the trip had been mostly shattered.  Hannah was still excited that she'd been to her first movie,

{she requested a photo with this snowman}

but Jack and I were quiet.  Not talking.

Then tonight, at bedtime, I read the story he picked out, and he was upset that it felt too short.  I tried to explain that I need him to be grateful for what he has, instead of always wishing for things he doesn't have or that he still wants.

I started to sing him a song (like we do every night), and he actually stopped me to say that he didn't like that song.  My head nearly exploded.  It took everything I had not to get up and walk out of the room.  Instead I sang the song he requested, told him I loved him, and then left the room.

I know that they can't get everything they want.  And I'm aware that they usually do.  For some reason, when they're disappointed, I'm disappointed.  But I know that they can't get everything.  The problem is, when they don't, the reaction to that is so bad that it seems worse for everyone.

I want Jack and Hannah to have happy memories.  I try to plan fun, family things for us to do often.  But when, at the end of the day, we end with tears and unhappiness, none of it seems worth it.

So gratefulness is something we're working on.  Any suggestions?  Cause we could certainly use them.